Musings on Wholeness and Healing

The word healing has ancient roots. The word hailjan, in proto-German, means to heal, TO MAKE WHOLE.

The word HOLY also comes from this root word. To heal, to make whole.

So I started to think….. Of all the wisdoms, of all the traditions that I have sought out throughout my life, the ones I resonate with the most speak of the Divinity, the Holiness, that is each one of us. We are holy. Some religions pervert the word holy and use it as a weapon, a weight, to hang over our heads, to control and to subvert. They say Holy means to be good. It is something to strive for. It is something only special people are. Right now, in the United States, there is a whole culture that has grown out of recent failed political lines that flaunts holiness as something achieved only by following certain political ideologies.

But if we look at the original meaning of the word, we each, in our own self, are a completely whole and holy self. We were created as whole, entire microcosms of individual delight. And then I look at us all collectively. Together, our separate individual delights make one greater whole. Any changes to this whole will affect our entire balance.

And then my gaze shifts even farther in this direction of wholeness and I see that my bubble, my world, my individual wholeness, is also affected not just by the people who are in it but the plants, the animals, the living energies of the land and the waters and the elements themselves. Together we make an even greater, fuller, wholeness.

How big can my wholeness extend? How big can I grow my bubble so that I can feel, see, sense and love everything in it? Even the people that frustrate and anger me? Even the microbes and the germs that I cannot see but may fear and loathe?

And by acknowledging the inherent wholeness that everything was created with and holds within, should I just ignore the pieces that stick out with jagged edges or the missing pieces that leaves holes in my heart?

Or should I engage the action word of wholeness and strive for healing? And acknowledge that somewhere along the way, my wholeness has become less complete, and my holiness less full? What is healing if not to make whole again?

Some healers would say that healing is something you do for others. Some healers like to fix and mold. I say instead, to heal is to bring back together the wholeness that is within.

There is a lot of self-love engaged in that one sentence that many people are not ready to commit to. In order to commit to bringing yourself back to wholeness you must love who you are at your very core. You must consider yourself holy enough to be whole. and restored.

The Q’ero of Peru, an Andean spiritual community that is still committed to the healing ways of their ancestors, have a wonderful practice of bringing holiness (wholeness) to the people of their community on a regular, even daily basis. It is their belief that even the slightest trauma, a skinned knee, a broken bone, an argument with a dear friend, can fragment our spirit. They believe the earth holds these fragments that are lost from us due to trauma. And so, starting with the moment of birth, they perform ANIMO WAKHAY to restore each community member back to wholeness. They call and command those tiny missing bits of self that can be shaken away from our core holiness back from the earth and place them into our cells, letting the pieces integrate and attach once again. The Animo Wakhay is performed for the mother enduring the trauma of giving birth and for the child enduring the trauma of birth itself. The Paqos of the community and even the community themselves will blow these pieces back into each other whenever a trauma or stress occurs. Isn’t this amazing? When I think of the beauty of someone acknowledging every stress I have and willing me back to the wholeness (and holiness) that they believe I am, my mind goes Woaaa!

Now, that is LOVE.

Training with the Q’ero has taught me and continues to teach me so much about the beauty and simplicity of whole and complete love. For self. For others. For the planet. I am excited and honored to be able to train in the traditions of the Andean Masters by the Andean Masters themselves and to be able to offer some healing (wholeness) to others!

A Twist on the Lion’s Gate Portal

I love the idea of the Lion’s Gate portal. A mysterious, starlit gateway leading to awakening and ascending, guarded by the fiercest and most powerful of the animal kingdom, the Lion. I can imagine me and all of my loved ones walking square shouldered, heads back, hair blowing, bravely marching to the promised land of wokeness. We are exultant to have finally reached that doorway beyond the beyond that has been promised to us by so many religions and spiritual traditions in so many ways. Isn’t heaven after all the biggest portal of them all? And how do we find this portal? Well, funny you should ask. A ritual here, a ritual there, a mysterious opening of my heart. I can’t seem to find many specific details. Aug 8 comes and they say it will open and if I am ready I will pass through.

But wait, I am not religious, am I? I am SPIRITUAL. Doesn’t this sound a little like we are waiting for the Kingdom of Heaven? Be ready and you will be let in. I am SPIRITUAL. What exactly has happened here?

Why am I marching in the woke parade like a triumphant angelic herald calling us all towards the promised land? Why are all my peeps talking about rituals and cleansings and promising some alien-like ascension into the clouds?

But wait, Leo calls. We MUST answer after all. Leo commands and demands. Leo can razzle and dazzle you into believing he has moved through the portal while he stands completely still! The art of showmanship and self-aggrandizement excels in the sign of Leo. Are we all following a spiritual pied-piper and listening to the slippery forked tongue of the snake in the garden?

I believe we have this wrong my loves. And as much as my air loving, water-bearing, community loving Aquarius self is attracted to and tantalized by the energies of my opposite sign Leo the lion in whatever form he/she comes in, I must say let’s stop the madness of looking for doors to the unknown until we fully appreciate, explore, and command the living energies all around us.

What if I told you that this portal that we seek is INSIDE OUR VERY HEARTS? And that the path by which we enter is through experiencing our world with our five senses and our big beuatiful under-used hearts?

What if I told you that there is no magical snap of the fingers or ritual that will guarantee our entrance to the promised land.

The portal that we are looking for is inside each and every one of us. We are all aspects of the divine radiating here on earth if we could just get out of our own way and cleanse ourselves of our self-loathing and judgement and SEE IT. Better yet, FEEL IT. The snap of the fingers that will accomplish this is a life time of self reflection and expanding our consciousness to the point of all inclusivity. I am YOU. YOU are ME. I cannot hate what I am and so I cannot hate you. A wholeness that recognizes all of life as nothing separate from MYSELF.

And in that wholeness I perceive a joy that is limitless and boundless. I hear angels in the pitter patter of raindrops. I see God in the face of the homeless addict and the snake that crawled into my cellar crawlspace. I feel the breath of life in the wind and allow myself to be lifted by the buoyant strength of the ocean’s waves. I choose to live in my wholeness, growing step by step closer to an understanding of Me as Divine as I explore and learn and practice what I preach.

Passage through the portal takes the ferocity of the lion after all. It is daily practice. Sometimes monotonous practice. It is days without change after all. It is days waiting and wondering if you have made any progress at all. It is also the joy of a summer’s day and your lover’s smile when you walk through the door. It is the sweetness of the pain when you take a splinter out of your foot. It is the relief of a good night’s sleep. Passage requires not giving up. And not relying on magical spells and incantations to make your heart transform.

The heart is a muscle after all. This Lion’s gate, let’s use it!

Heart Calling

Heart Calling Creations.

What is Heart Calling?

You have heard the expression, “My heart calls to me” when someone speaks of a very strong love.  We say, “that doesn’t speak to my heart” if something doesn’t inspire or ignite our passion.

Have you ever heard your heart call?  Have you really listened?

Why do we say the heart calls at all?  There is no mouth, no voice to the heart… Or is there?

The heart has a voice all it’s own, a frequency, a vibration….Listen.  Take a breath.  Take a few breaths and really listen to your heart.  Breathing in, feel the expansion of your chest, your heart beating against your ribs, lifting towards the sky.  Breathe out, feel your shoulders relax, your ribs drop, connect your breath to the pulse of your heart.

What is your heart telling you?  Have you ever asked?

Take a moment…continue breathing still… and listen.

Listen to the space of time between the beats.

When we truly listen and follow the calling of our heart we are allowing our words and our actions to match the love within our hearts.  Our very being becomes a heart sound.

In the beginning of a creation there is always a dream, a longing to build or to reclaim something that is yours.  Something heartfelt deep within you is sounding to get out through your words, through your communications.  You talk about that creation as if it were real.  You might say “I want so much to leave this work” or “I wish I could….”  You might be an artist, “I need to paint”  or a musician, “if I could only play my music”, and your heart calls you to the medium to give it’s voice sound.

No heart calling is too big or too small… Remove your judgement as you listen within to the beat of your heart.

As we pull out of this retrograde season and we enter into the fiery sign of Aries, take a moment to listen to your heart and to focus it’s clearest intention so that you may give it voice in whatever small or huge way you can.  Invite the fires of Aries, the “I am” connection to burn within you in a controlled and sustained even blaze.  Pray to your angels and guides and humbly ask for support to guide your heart’s creation into manifestation.

Guided with sound, you may assist yourself in anchoring deeply to the voice speaking from within.  Spend some time cleansing and clearing with sound instruments.  Blow a conch. Clear the energies.  Sound the tingshas, Cutting etheric cords of judgement.  Sound the bowls and invite in the light.  Invite in the messages from Spirit.  And then speak your heartfelt truth.  Your voice of creation.  First to yourself, and then to the world, you will begin to manifest from a place of heart, from a place of truth.

Your heart is your voice.  Your heart becomes your manifested truth.  I see you!  And I believe!

Much love to all who follow their heart in their creations.  Namaste


Inspiration from the Sea

When you are from Cape Cod, or are lucky enough to be a visitor of Cape Cod, you are certainly familiar with sea glass.  When I was a little girl, looking for sea glass was a great adventure, a daily easter egg-hunt filled with magical thinking and creative sparking.  Little did I know, it was also a great babysitting plan devised by my mother and grandmother who wished for a little well-deserved peace on the beach with the sun on their faces.  I busily atacked the task of finding sea glass like it was a job I had been hired to do, carrying it in my heart a  sacred mission of enormous proportions.  I thrived on the “ohhs” and “ahhs” the little glass gems elicited from my maternal line when I returned with chubby handfuls of treasure, rosy sun-burned cheeks, and windswept eyes heavy from salt and sea and fresh air.  My mission accomplished and all tuckered out, my mom and grandma rejuvenated by the quiet sunny day, sleep would come easily and peacefully that night for all of us.

Move forward 25 years, and I taught my own girls the wonders of sea glass,  choosing to hunt with them and to experience their shrieks of delight as they unearthed brightly colored pieces from the sea weed and rocks along the shore.  I laugh remembering having to teach them the difference between “beer glass” and sea glass.  Beer glass being the sharp shards of glass more recently deposited on the sea and not yet smoothed by the rhythmic push and pull of the tides and by the turbulent ocean bottom pushing up during storms.  We would throw the beer glass fiercely as far as we could into the ocean so that it could be immersed in the process of smoothing and beautifying and come back to us new next time.

And I realize now how the simple pieces of sea glass that I have hunted all of my life are a symbol for us of spiritual alchemy.  They reflect the transformation of our own beauty as judgements, anger, hopelessness and fear are worn away by the challenges we face open-heartedly and we step into our own being, shiny and new.   The rhythmic movement of the tide rocking and rubbing, smoothing and polishing, becomes a metaphor for the process of becoming, a process we are all engaged in, whether we know it or not.  And I also see how the only thing separating beer glass from sea glass is actually a judgement.  A judgement that without suffering there is no worth.  A judgement that I was less before I was more.   When the truth is, without my edges, without my faults, this ocean of life would not have anything to work with!  And I wouldn’t be the beautiful me I am at all.  The other truth is that we don’t need to toss ourselves into the throes of suffering to become lighter, brighter beings.  The waves will come and carry us away and wash us clean regardless of the force with which we enter.  So take time.  Take heart.  Work smarter, not harder.  And choose to become through the path of least resistance, not the path of most holy suffering.  And don’t reject those edges that have not yet smoothed away…. they will be your most beautifully polished surface in time.

I am so happy to be carrying a line of unique, inspired jewelry made from genuine precious sea glass and glass beads!  Pattie’s work is a gift, a warm connection to days of sun and sand and dreaming.  She stewards the glass, brought up from a riled sea, until it speaks to her of a creative purpose, an adornment of light and memories.  And she gifts it to the heart that welcomes it in.  Within its beauty lies the beauty that is within us, the beauty before and after the storms.  How we shine is how we choose to wear our gold.20180610_130522

Breaking Down Walls with Fearlessness and Love

All of creation is a breaking down and building up process… the breaking down of old ideas to make room for new thoughts to enter, the breaking down of muscle fibers to build new stronger muscles, the breaking down of the barriers we create in our hearts to make room for new connections of love to grow.  When we stay stuck in separate mind, this breaking down can seem painful, so painful that we avoid it for risk of losing what we identify as self.  We become fearful, guarded, stuck in our old patterns, our old looping behaviors.  And we remain stuck out of fear of a pain we never risk experiencing.  And we question why?  Why am I still here?  Why have my relationships not gotten better?  Why have I not succeeded where others around me seem to have done so?  And we choose to judge and dislike ourselves instead of risking losing what little we do have!

But who am I if not made of broken pieces and glorious new additions?  Doesn’t it make more sense to love me whole than to love myself in pieces?

One of the best teachings ever spoken to me was by my mentor and friend, the co-owner of this glorious creation we are embarking on.

Fear is just an energy.  Like love, like pain, like sadness and happiness, it is part of the energy all around us, the energy that surrounds us every single day.  You cannot avoid it.  Because it is always there.  And so, let fear move in, and move through you.  When you meet the energy of fear and you move forward anyways, that is the true definition of being fearless.

And so begins my newest adventure of meeting fear and moving through that energy anyways.

Here we are at the new store location, scraping and painting and tearing things up.  I found joy in the physical activity, and I have to admit, the destruction.  Making room for something beautiful.

But the story doesn’t end there.  My shoulder pulled, I let doubt creep in…

Maybe I wasn’t strong enough, Maybe I wasn’t brave enough… I reached and touched lows that I thought I had left behind a long time ago.

And then the real magic happened.

Love happened.

I received




Help that I was still afraid to ask for, or to believe in.  Friends checked in on me, working on my shoulder, praying for me.  I received texts and calls of encuragement and happiness at what we are doing here.  My High School students popped up out of the blue asking for, and listening to, the messages of love and healing that I transmit.  They showed understanding of the Natural Laws that I explained to them to help them understand the chaos they too often see in their world and to give them tools to not entrain to the chaos.  My mentor listened to me as I poured out fears that I had never been able to acknowledge, judgements that I didn’t want to admit.  And she loved me anyways.

My daughters and my love supported and stayed with me as I “got messy” as I call it, again and again, fighting the doubts and the insecurities I am always too afraid to show.

And I finally got that felt sense of the strongest, bravest tool that we can use to move through the fear.  And that is the vibration of LOVE.


Image may contain: 1 person, sunglassesImage may contain: one or more peopleImage may contain: Brigid Doherty, smiling, standing and shorts

garage storage.jpg



%d bloggers like this: